So

Nobody reads this anymore... well, maybe people do, but nobody that I am fully aware of... but.

Life lately. In comparison to life back in whatever grade I was in last time on Xanga?

Life... is really good and really bad at the same time. Oh! That reminds me of a quote, let me find it...

"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
- Perks of Being a Wallflower

So. A nebulous and unpunctilious recapitulation (go vocab words):

- New job... yuck.
- More money.... not so yuck...
- Finished a great book! Lord of the Flies... love the symbolism
- I found a very nice new friend
- I lost [who was once] a very nice friend
- Finished my scarf and moved onto gloves
- I can't find my knitting needles to finish my gloves...
- There are more people than I thought, and that is good
- Of those people... many are not good. A few exceptions.
- I'm reading a good book that I won't be returning! Hurray!

Hm. Talking to Bradley about hardship in life... he says to just let go of wanting... and be glad of what you have? And embrace what there is, even if its bad. Like, he says, when its cold, he doesn't say "Aghhh its cold," he goes, "Mmmm. Its cold."

Which is interesting...

That kind of ties in with my recent thoughts. Lately... I've realized how imperfect I am. And thats a good thing. I've realized how much I have to learn, and I've recently had so much fun in learning, and experiencing, and just making myself as well-rounded and "perfect" as I possibly can. Because its neat, accomplishing things. Its neat to feel like you're getting better and making progress, and especially with being any type of artist... anything you experience helps, anything you do helps, because it helps you to better understand things. Its like being a painter and getting more paints to choose from, or different brushes to be able to use. And I think thats what Brad means. Embracing any feeling, because its unique and different. Not good or bad. Different.

But whats nice?

Today I realized something. And I've needed to for a long time. Today I realized what I really want isn't what I had... what I really want is what I thought I had. And no matter how I much I look back or how I look at things... I won't get exactly what I once had. I'll get something unique and wonderful, but most importantly, healthy. And thats somewhere infront of me. So by coping with the knowledge that this something will eventually come... I won't want and need it so much. And that helps.

Have a good day, whoever you may be!